Relationship Wednesday

Let me preface this by saying a few things: 'Relationship Wednesday' is not necessarily going to be a recurring thing, I just liked the title. Also, the point of this blog is for me to come to understand myself and my views on other things more, not for me to brood or talk about being lonely or my own social inadequacy. Though my life is very far from perfect, I have a lot to be thankful for; I'm also of the belief that you don't need someone to live a life that is full.

Having said that, yesterday was just filled with stuff that had to do with relationships and where I'm at in thinking about them, thus the post was born. (Metaphorically, not physically.)

We'll start off with a movie review. I finally got to see 'TiMER', a movie that I've been wanting to see for a long time.

The premise of the film is intriguing; a company has come up with a device (the nominal 'TiMER) that helps you find your soulmate. There are a few caveats, of course- you will only know if the other person is your soulmate if you both have a TiMER, and while you may know your soulmate, it may not necessarily be love at first sight. In comes Oona, played by the wonderfully sardonic Emma Caulfield. Oona's had her TiMER since she was fourteen, and it's completely blank. She takes new boyfriends to get TiMERs and find if they're her 'one' but to no avail, and commiserates with her step-sister Steph, who is not destined to meet her soulmate until she's very late into her life.

Feeling added pressure from her parents, friends while also wondering about time (Oona's about to turn 30), our heroine decides to have a fling with a grocery store clerk that randomly hits on her as she's checking out. Mikey has a TiMER that's counting down for 4 months till he meets his soulmate but he and Oona decide to have fun for a while, at least until they should meet their 'ones'. The result is a very fun and surprisingly insightful look into short term relationships and the notion of 'one true love'.

I really enjoyed this movie, and not just because I identified a lot with Oona. Caulfield, (Anya from Buffy the Vampire Slayer) brings such a believable charm to the role of a Type-A woman who longs deeply for her one but is beginning to see time escaping and wondering if there is even someone out there for her. Oona is played as a no-nonsense, exasperated-but-fun woman and goes beyond being a stereotypical husband hunter; she does long for her one true love but she also has a good living and a great family. It's a great commentary on the social pressure for people to be in relationships.

There were also great turns by Michelle Borth (who I could have sworn was Anne Hathaway) as the acerbic and smart alec Steph, the sister who enjoys helping guys on TiMER countdown "sow their wild oats", and by John Patrick Amedori, who surprised me with the realism, depth and cleverness that he portrayed as Mikey, the slacker musician who falls for Oona.

The film itself was greatly intriguing, challenging, and heart-provoking (it made me think and tugged at my heart. It's a new phrase- use it!) Witty writing added to the film's subtle intensity, always drawing me in with jokes and the occasionally cliche indie-film pretention while simultaneously having lots of depth and truth to the humor. I really enjoyed this movie and am sad that it wasn't promoted further. Grade: A

Also, whilst speaking about relationships, two things:

First, I had a friend on facebook who was overjoyed at the fact that Hawaii vetoed same sex civil unions yesterday. His status ended up having comments mostly consisting of "YES!!!!!1!1111!!!!", which disgusted me on multiple levels (one of which being a lack of typing ability).

The other reason I was disgusted, or rather- disconcerted was the overwhelming joy that he and his friends felt about oppression and the theft of civil rights from people who are in love. I completely understand being in opposition to gay marriage; I don't agree with that stance, but I understand. A few years back (well, in high school) I was all about keeping marriage as God wanted, etc, etc. My faith in God is the most important thing in my life and I am not gonna judge people who want to glorify Him and see this as obeying Him.

Where I get discouraged, however, is with the joy that comes with oppressing. Marriage is a civil right- there are also rights and privileges awarded with that right. For me, personally, considering marriage and its consequences/rights as provided by the government the same thing as marriage defined by the Bible is the most offensive and dangerous thing to Christian marriage there is. What is marriage? Biblically, it's a way for Christians to reflect the love that Christ has for the Church. So if we're going to keep gays from marrying in the states (which, btw, are NOT religious- they're secular), then why are we allowing non-Christians to get married? That's by definition a non-Christian marriage. And divorce? That's definitely not supposed to happen. But did you know that marriages in the Church are more likely to end in divorce than not? We should be focusing on our own marriages and not taking joy away from people (and more importantly, civil rights) simply because they happen to have the same genitals.

I say, let the gays marry. Let them marry and let us as Christians really get into what marriage means for those of us in the Church. It's not going to hurt us, but it is hurting our fellow Americans and that's unacceptable.

So... that turned out to be a rant. Well, a rant and a movie review. I hope you (if anyone reads this) enjoyed it, and feel free to leave comments!