So it's been about a year since the last time that I made a post on this blog. To be honest, I think that I kind of forgot about this. Between Twitter/Facebook, my online life has been pretty full, and the rest of my life has been no float down the river.
A rundown of the last year:
1. I got a job! I'm employed at UT in Admissions, helping incoming freshmen and transfers with their questions. It's been a great 9 months and I really enjoy the job for right now.
2. Applying to grad school, and God willing that I get in, I want to go to UCLA. I finally got to go to LA with the boys for the Natty Championship (not talking about that) and it was just like I dreamed it would be. Wonderful city and I know it's where I want to be, at least for the next decade.
3. Writing a musical- 'Super Mario Bros: A New *Unauthorized* Musical' with my friend Lindsey. It's gonna be off the chain in so many ways that can't be described as of yet.
That's currently What's Happenin', though this past year has held so much for me. It's been cool for a lot of reasons and nightmarish for others. Mostly it's been a year of balance- I've sought clarity and found it, only to have more questions thrust upon me. I've got to know myself more, only to realize that there's so much that I've still got to learn.
Looking back, a lot of the things that I felt last year still trouble me. It's true that I enjoy my job, though working full time is so much different than everything else I've ever done. It's freeing in some ways and restricting in others. It's definitely nice to have some income (though after my bills and my freaking student loans, it's pretty meager), and great to be responsible for myself. It also makes keeping up relationships and non-work stuff difficult. Working on this musical, trying to hang out with my friends- it's tough! You get up at 6:45, shower, go to work, sit at your desk for 8 hours, go home and want to just pass out on the couch.
And let me tell you this- working 8 hours a day in an air-conditioned room sounds really non-exhausting but this is false to the highest degree. I have no idea why but it drains you to the core. I don't want to do anything when I get home, and that sucks. Ugh. What happened to the Brian who could stay up til 5 in the morning and go to class at 8? I'm 23, dammit, it's not like I'm geriatric or anything. This is why I'm supposed to be rich, so I can work for my parents and not really do anything so I can just go to LA and not worry about loans.
Speaking of LA, it's still my plan. Right now, here's the sitch: As I mentioned, I'm applying to UCLA, USC, Pepperdine, UC Irvine, UCSB and basically any LA school I can find with a graduate Acting degree. This is exciting and terrifying at the same time. I'm not a terrible actor, but I don't have much experience in college (though community theatre credit- I'm a big deal.) :) Still, I'm worried. Anyway, if I get in, I may try to get a job at the school so that I can make bank whilst in classes, but that could be tough. We'll see.
The other option (which I'm increasingly considering) is taking a year off, regardless of whether I get into a school or not, and honing my craft- taking lessons, doing more community productions, getting in great shape and work at a job back home, living with family and not paying bills (except loans, phone, etc) and just saving up money/making big payments to my student loans. This is an attractive option except for a few things:
a.) I'd be away from my friends. This one is actually not as big a deal as the others. Don't get me wrong, I love my friends a lot, but so many of them have become married and/or adults who don't live here or have completely different lives as a result. Plus I'd have my family back home, and it would be great to have a year with them to reconnect and be close with all of them, especially if I'm going to be leaving for LA.
b.) I'd be away from theatre/acting possibilities. Bay City, TX is a great many things, but one thing that they are not is known for theatre/film. In fact, they recently closed the movie theatre there. This is bad as movies are a large part of what makes me happy. Not to mention, seeing as this is what I want to do, it's kind of important to have access to them. A large part of my problem now is that all that I learned in high school has become atrophied from not using it. I've forgotten many of the things I knew about acting and didn't learn more, meaning now I'm catching up/having to relearn stuff. Not fun.
c.) I'd be away from my church. My mom's church is fine, and the ones in Bay City are well and good but I've been fed so much from the Stone and I'm not sure what I would do back in Bay City. It's tough to think where I would go, but it's safe to say that I wouldn't drive to Houston for a church.
d.) Finding a job. Not impossible, but who knows what I'd do? Teach, find a random job?
Eh. Anyway, my dreams are still intact. If anything, this year has confirmed them. I know that there's nothing else I want to do, and that I have to go for it. I'm working hard to make them a reality and they will happen. I heard a line in some play or movie the other day in which they said that dreams 'aren't supposed to happen, because they keep your mind off the present and give you a place to escape'. I find that extremely cynical, which is something coming from me. No, I think that dreams are something you go after and never let out of your sight. Why would you dream about something that you knew you'd never have a chance at? It's fine if you go after it and fail- there's nothing to be ashamed about failing. But never going after your dreams? That's not living!
So I'm going after my dreams. Everything I'm doing right now is with the goal of achieving them in mind.
And they will happen.
As will more blog posts. Now that I have my website (flavors.me/brianboy) I'm planning on updating regularly. And hopefully making youtube vids. We shall see.
peace and love,
Brian
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